What We Can Learn About Love and Dating From Each of Taylor Swift’s Eras
Whether you love her or not, you can’t deny that Taylor Swift has had a tremendous impact on generations and continues to influence millions of lives every day. I sometimes feel like I grew up right alongside Taylor Swift, and each one of her eras played some kind of role in my own eras of life.
The lessons Taylor has taught me over the years are countless, but each era seems to have a theme or narrative. In my opinion, these are the main lessons we can learn about love and dating from each of Taylor’s eras.
🎵Are you ready for it?
Era: Taylor Swift (Debut Album)
Lesson: Embrace Your Individuality
When you’re dating and looking for your forever person, it’s important to remember to stay true to who you are. Don’t pretend to be what you think other people will like; be yourself! You’ll find someone who loves you just the way you are.
Taylor’s debut album is self-titled. She wrote and recorded it while she was still in high school, and it’s full of fun, innocence, and youthfulness. This album introduced her as a country artist, and it’s all about staying true to yourself and your heart. Songs like “Tim McGraw” and “Teardrops On My Guitar” show the importance of valuing yourself and not settling for someone who doesn’t appreciate you for who you are.
As you learn self-love and embrace your individuality, you’ll learn to find someone who also loves and values you. I promise someone is looking for exactly what you have to offer. You just have to find them.
Era: Fearless
Lesson: Don’t Be Afraid To Fall In Love
Fearless is all about dreaming big and taking risks. It teaches us to embrace vulnerability and take chances in our relationships. Songs like “Love Story,” “Fearless,” and “Fifteen” remind us to savor the excitement that comes with new love and new experiences.
Whether you’re stepping out into the dating scene for the first time or putting yourself back out there for the first time in a while, dating can be scary. Nobody likes making themselves vulnerable or taking risks, but the only way to find that happily ever after of your dreams is by taking that first step into the unknown. Just wait; the risk is so worth the reward!
Era: Speak Now
Lesson: Express Yourself
Speak Now encourages you to express yourself and your desires in a relationship without holding back. If there’s something you have to say, say it! There’s nothing worse than keeping things to yourself and wondering, “What if?”
Songs like “Enchanted,” “Speak Now,” and “Mine” show the importance of letting the people you love know how much you care about them, while songs like “Dear John” and “Mean” illustrate the importance of speaking up for yourself and telling people when they’ve hurt you.
When it comes to matters of the heart, communication is essential! Whether you’re expressing your needs or expressing your love, it’s important to share your emotions honestly. It’s also important to develop good communication skills so that you can healthily and effectively communicate your feelings. Check out this blog post about emotional intelligence for tips on improving your communication skills.
Honorable mention: Every relationship can teach you a lesson. Each song on the Speak Now album is about a person or experience from Taylor’s life, and she hid clues to their names in the album artwork and lyric booklet with the CDs!
Era: Red
Lesson: Love Is Worth The Journey
Red is about the complexities of love and the emotions that come with it. As Taylor gets older and more mature, we can see that her music starts to mature, too. In Red, we see that relationships aren’t always black and white. Songs like “The Last Time,” “Treacherous,” and “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” illustrate the complex and sometimes confusing emotions that come with relationships.
Throughout every swipe, date, breakup, and relationship, there are going to be ups and downs. From passion to heartbreak, be open to all of it. And once you reach your final destination, you’ll realize that the journey was worth it all, and hopefully, it gave you some great stories to tell along the way.
If you find yourself in one of those not-so-fun parts of your dating journey, check out this blog post for tips on how to make the best out of every situation.
Era: 1989
Lesson: It’s Okay To Take A Break And Focus On Yourself
1989 is all about change and growth. This was Taylor’s first album that was considered completely pop instead of country, and she was no longer eligible for any CMA awards. Talk about a big change!
1989 teaches us that it’s okay to reinvent yourself and that taking time for self-care and self-discovery is beneficial before diving into a new relationship. We learn not to let other people’s expectations of us hold us down with songs like “Shake It Off” and “Blank Space.”
Change is a part of life. The only constant we can count on in life is that things will change. (That and God’s love, of course. 🥰) There are also always going to be things that are outside of our control. Sometimes, when things get to be a little too overwhelming, it’s helpful to take a step back and focus on yourself.
People may tell you that at X point in your life, you should be in a relationship, be married, have kids already, etc. Don’t listen to them or let their expectations dictate your choices. Focus on what feels right for you. Need some help finding happiness in your current situation? Read this blog post for tips!
Era: Reputation
Lesson: Stand Up For Yourself
In her album Reputation, Taylor made a stand and established herself as a pop icon. After 1989, she started to rise in popularity, but this also brought scrutiny and accusations from the media and other celebrities. Critics started to paint a picture of her as calculating and fake. Reputation was her response and her “defense mechanism.”
In this album, we see her defend herself, set boundaries, and disregard the opinions of others with songs like “Look What You Made Me Do,” “I Did Something Bad,” and “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things.”
In any relationship, it’s absolutely necessary to set boundaries. Sometimes, we may think that setting boundaries sends the message that we don’t want someone to be a part of our life, but it’s actually the opposite. Prentis Hemphill said, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”
If you ever feel uneasy about something, whether it’s something big like you don’t feel safe or something small like you don’t like you don’t like the flavor of snack they keep bringing you, speak up!
Read this blog post to learn more about setting boundaries, respecting boundaries, and worry-free dating.
Era: Lover
Lesson: Celebrate All Forms Of Love In Your Life
Lover is a celebration of love in all its forms. Taylor herself said that she views this album as a very romantic album, calling it a “love letter to love,” and says that even the sad songs can be viewed through a romantic lens.
Songs like “Lover,” “Paper Rings,” and “Soon You’ll Get Better” teach us to cherish all of the meaningful connections in our lives, appreciate the beauty of love and life, and find joy in the simple things.
Sometimes, amidst the search for the one, the marking of checklists, and the pressure of expectations, it’s easy to lose sight of why we started dating in the first place: to find love. We all have a deep, innate desire and need to love and be loved.
Remember the little things and cherish the beauty of every season of life. Maybe this isn’t your wedding season. That’s okay. Maybe this is your season to relish the love of your grandma, your nieces and nephews, or your close friends. Love is all around you!
Era: Folklore
Lesson: Everyone Has A Story To Tell
Folklore is full of stories and perspectives. After canceling her Lover tour due to COVID-19, Taylor released Folklore as a surprise album full of songs she wrote during quarantine. Where her songs are usually autobiographical, Folklore focuses on storytelling and fictional characters inspired by folk songs. Taylor also said that the lyrics throughout the album are full of easter eggs, such as the “Teenage Love Triangle,” three songs about three perspectives of a love triangle at different points in their life.
It’s important to remember that everyone has a story to tell. While you’re the main character in your own life story, you might be more of a supporting role or an ensemble member in someone else’s story.
Everyone’s perspective is going to be different, even if you experience the exact same thing. Be kind and empathetic to others’ situations and feelings because you don’t know their whole backstory. Remember that even though something might be ending, it’s only the end of the chapter, not the end of the story. You still have a lot of story left to tell.
Read all kinds of stories about people who found love on Mutual here!
Era: Evermore
Lesson: Embrace The Complexities Of Love
Folklore and Evermore are similar, both featuring tracks full of storytelling and character studies. However, Evermore dives more into the intricacies of love and encourages us to embrace its complexities. Songs like “Champaign Problems,” “Evermore,” and “Tolerate It” teach us that love is not always straightforward and it often changes and evolves over time.
Love is complex. There’s not always going to be a straightforward answer. What was right for your mom and dad or your neighbor down the street isn’t necessarily going to be the right path for you. Every person, situation, and relationship is completely different, and every relationship will change over time. Embrace the complexities, become resilient when faced with change, and greet every new version of yourself and your relationships with confidence and curiosity.
Bonus Era: Taylor’s Version
Lesson: Reclaim Your Narrative
After a public dispute over the ownership of the master recordings of her songs, Taylor decided to rerecord all of her albums that were recorded under Big Machine Records. Doing so gave her complete ownership of the songs and allowed her to have control over the licensing. Each of her rerecorded songs has (Taylor’s Version) at the end of the title to identify the new recordings.
No matter what era you’re in, it’s easy to sometimes fall into the narrative that you don’t have a say in your story. Maybe you don’t believe that the universe wants you to be happy or that God’s plan for you doesn’t include a happily ever after. When this happens, turn the page, take responsibility for your life, and reclaim your narrative. Don’t let other people decide what happens in your life.
Remember that because of the atonement, we “have become free forever, knowing good from evil, to act for [ourselves] and not be acted upon.” (2 Nephi 2:26)You may not always be able to control the outcome of things, but you can control your choices. If you think nobody you know wants to date you, take the initiative to meet more people. If you feel like you’re never going on dates, set a goal to ask more people out. Life isn’t happening to you; you are happening to life, and it’s time for you to live your life (Your Version.)
