Sometimes dating just outright sucks, but there’s a reason we all have done it or are doing it because everyone at some point or another is in search of their happily ever after.
Dating shouldn’t be stressful, but when the end goal is life-altering (in a good way of course), sometimes we can’t help ourselves from feeling overwhelmed. After a while, the search for your perfect partner can start to feel like a massive weight on your shoulders. So how can you alleviate this burden? By bringing back some fun into your dating life!
Let’s go back to the basics and remember dating how it was supposed to be: enjoyable.
Only Say Yes If You’re Interested
It’s plain and simple, you should never feel obligated to say yes to a date with a person you’re not interested in. You should always feel excited about the person you’re going out with.
Blind dates set up by family, a friend of a friend asking you out, or maybe an accidental match can all potentially result in awkward first-date situations. Before moving forward ask yourself if it is just regular nerves and awkwardness or genuine disinterest getting in the way, sometimes the love of our life isn’t exactly what we imagined so it still important to give people outside of our dating norm a chance!
If you ever feel that genuine disinterest, super uncomfortable, or even just have a bad feeling about going out with someone, it is always okay to say no. For some reason, we get it in our heads that saying no when someone asks us out could be rude or mean, but giving our honest answer is always the nicest thing to do. It is way better to explain that you aren’t interested in a nice way than to feel uncomfortable the entire date.
Plan A Date You Enjoy
Dating should be FUN! You should never feel like you have to participate in an activity that you feel uncomfortable with (or honestly just don’t like).
Whether you’re the planner of the date, or the person being asked, there is always room for your suggestions. If there is an activity you’ve been dying to test out, this is the perfect opportunity to go and do it, speak up, and share your ideas with your date!
Dating new people and doing new activities can be the perfect way to step out of your comfort zone and get to know which things and which people you like. As we grow, our interests grow with us. This is a great excuse to do an inventory check of sorts and figure out what you still like or what you might not like anymore.
Use Dating As A Way To Get To Know Yourself Better
Getting to know yourself is just as, if not more, important than getting to know the people you’re dating. So why not take some time to date yourself?
What’s your favorite childhood memory? What is your biggest dream? What is your biggest fear? The happiest you’ve ever felt? The thing you wish you were better at? Although this game of 20 questions might be something you dread on a first date, pay attention to your answers, or maybe take the time to ask yourself the answers beforehand. You might surprise yourself with a little self-reflection.
If you focus on getting to know yourself and what makes you happy, rather than stressing about falling in love immediately, you’ll be able to make the dating process a lot less stressful and way more personal to your own needs. If you need some more ideas on how to add more happiness to your life check out this blog post!
Don’t See Rejection As A Negative
Just like you’re not interested in pursuing a relationship with every first date you go out with, your date’s brain works the same way! If they share that they might not be interested in continuing to go out, thank them for sharing their honest feelings.
There are so many moving parts when it comes to finding your perfect partner. It needs to be the right time, the right place, and the right relationship-ready person. Dating is basically a science experiment; not every combination is going to result in sparks, and that isn’t either component’s fault.
Rather than feeling down on yourself or taking the rejection personally, try to see it as a positive. Trust me, the love of your life is never going to be the person who doesn’t have a mutual interest in you, so this just means you’re one first date closer to your last first date.
Put The U Back In Going Out!
The bottom line is dating should be something you look forward to rather than something you dread! Don’t be afraid to “date repeat”; if there’s a super amazing date you’ve loved in the past, do that same activity again, either with someone or even by yourself.
You should always try to make yourself a priority while dating. If there is something you can add to your dating life that is guaranteed to make it more enjoyable (and suck just a little less) then ADD IT!
Lauren is a marketing intern for Mutual, where she is getting to live out all her copywriting dreams. She is currently a marketing student at Utah Valley University and will be getting her degree there this year. She’s obsessed with her internship and loves getting to be a part of a company focused on helping people find their eternal companion (and loves recommending it to her single friends even more)! You can find her at www.linkedin.com/in/lauren-wertner