Marriage Won’t Make You Happy Unless You’re Already Happy

May 4, 2023

Sometimes we convince ourselves that the key to happiness is that long-awaited happily ever after wrapped up in a long white dress, a tailored suit, and the temple of our dreams. While a temple marriage will bring so much happiness into your life, the truth is, happily ever after won’t magically come after marriage unless you’re already happy with yourself. 

We spend so much time talking about how marriage will positively impact our lives that we forget to talk about how important it is to build up that foundation of happiness in our hearts beforehand. 

It could be just a hunch, but since you’re already using Mutual, we’re pretty sure you feel ready to take that next step toward marriage. You probably also know what values and traits you’re looking for in a partner. These are both incredibly important to creating a happy marriage and a happy life, but the one missing variable in that equation is YOU! 

Your happiness will directly impact the relationships you’re in. No one is ever happy 100% of the time, but there are some key things we can do to increase that percentage in our lives.

You + Self-Esteem = The Dream Team

We’ve heard it a million times by now, the Golden Rule: “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” Sometimes we forget that the Golden Rule also applies to us and that we should treat ourselves with the kindness and respect we give to others. 

Redirect negative self-talk into positivity whenever possible. The most effective way to increase our self-esteem is by making room for those positive affirmations in our minds and in our hearts. 

If there are things in your life that make you feel down or hard on yourself, remove them and make more room for the things that remind you how incredible you are. 

So many people love you, so why not love yourself a little bit more?!

If you have a hard time finding things to love about yourself, you’re not alone! We all tend to see all the best traits in others but only the negative ones in ourselves. Think of a few close family members or friends and ask them what they think your five best qualities are. Then, take those things, write them on sticky notes, and stick them to your mirror, around your house, or wherever you’ll see them regularly. When you see the sticky notes, remind yourself of the traits those people see in you and tell yourself that you ARE those things. It may feel silly at first, but the more you repeat it to yourself, the sooner you’ll start to believe it too 🫶.

Date Yourself!

Okay, this one may also seem silly at first, but I can’t stress how important it is. 

Making time for “me time” is crucial to finding yourself! By spending time alone you will give yourself the unique opportunity to escape social pressures and explore your interests and needs without any outside influences. 

You are constantly growing and changing, which means the things that bring you joy are constantly growing and changing too! Pay close attention to which habits or activities bring you genuine joy, and if that looks like a late-night movie, grabbing dinner at your favorite restaurant, hitting the golf course, or maybe going for a hike, DON’T be afraid to do it alone. 

If you can learn how to meet your own needs and keep yourself happy, it will be way easier for you to communicate those needs to a future partner!

Keep A Healthy Lifestyle

It is no secret that we feel our best when we take care of ourselves. This includes taking care of ourselves physically.

Keeping healthy habits can create a huge positive impact on our mental health. This might look like going for a walk outside once a week, saying yes to more physical activities (like pickleball or hiking),  extending your sleep schedule by an hour, or making sure you remember to drink a glass of water every once in a while. Setting and achieving physical goals can be a great way to build more confidence in yourself and what you’re capable of. 

You can’t expect to be in any type of relationship (romantic or not) and take care of others if you’re not already taking care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Build Your Circle

Friendships and community will always be important, whether you’re in a marriage or not.

Creating a close circle of people you love and trust can build a safety net that we all need in our life, no matter how strong or capable we might be. Friendships can be there to uplift and support us even in the hardest of times.

Talking through our struggles, anxieties, and personal problems with friends and family can be a huge stress reliever, and any opportunity to relieve stress should be an opportunity we’re taking!

You Deserve Happiness

You deserve to feel happy every day. By implementing a few of the suggestions above, we hope you can see even more of that happiness in your life! 

This is the perfect time to prioritize your happiness while you prepare yourself to take that next step in your future. Take advantage of this season of change while you’re looking for potential partners. 

Feel like you’ve mastered happiness and are ready for that next step? Get up to 60% off MutualUp this Memorial Day, and take another step towards your happily ever after. 

Lauren Wertner
Marketing Intern at Mutual | + posts

Lauren is a marketing intern for Mutual, where she is getting to live out all her copywriting dreams. She is currently a marketing student at Utah Valley University and will be getting her degree there this year. She’s obsessed with her internship and loves getting to be a part of a company focused on helping people find their eternal companion (and loves recommending it to her single friends even more)! You can find her at


Me gustaría ser parte de esta manera de encontrar un compañero por las eternidades que tenga los mismos principios que yo


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