It’s Mutual! Now What?

It happened! You did some swiping and you got that notification everybody wants – “It’s mutual!” So… what happens next? How do you take that initial attraction and create a genuine relationship off-app?

Everyone’s dating experience and journey to finding their eternal companion is going to look different. There’s no step-by-step guide that will guarantee that your match turns into a marriage. But, there are a few steps you can take to make sure things get moving in the right direction.

1. Start a conversation

You’re definitely not going to see this relationship go anywhere if you let your match expire! Don’t wait around for the other person to make the first move. Start a conversation so you can get to know them, otherwise you’ll never find out if the two of you would be compatible. Ask questions. Be sincere. 

Features like comments and notes can help you get the conversation started in an organic way. (Learn more about comments and notes here.) 

Don’t think too hard about it! First impressions are important but it’s most important to just be yourself. Not sure where to start? Here are some tips for getting the conversation going:

  1. Ask something about the other person. They’re more likely to respond if they have a question to answer and it shows that you’re interested in getting to know them. Also, remember to keep asking questions to keep the conversation going. If you only ever talk about yourself and never ask anything about them, the conversation will eventually die.
  2. Find a way to introduce yourself. Since they’ve seen your profile, they probably already know your name, so think of other interesting things that you can tell them about yourself. Remember that you want to try and form a connection, so finding things about them on their profile that you can relate to should help get the ball rolling!
  3. Think of something clever to catch their attention. Sometimes you just need something to break the ice and make things a little less awkward. Check out this list of 100 cheesy pickup lines if you need a little help coming up with something!

2. Ask them on a date

Online chatting is great, but it can only take you so far. There’s a lot that people can hide when behind a phone screen. Ask them to meet up with you and get to know them better. (Yes, meet them there. Don’t share where you live with someone you’ve never met.) 

Nervous about meeting up in person for the first time? Check out tips for a safe first date here.

Not sure what to do for your first date? Liv Talley, one of our experts, gives great tips on how to navigate a first date in her post titled First Dates; A Guide. Also check out mutualDates for deals on great date activities!

One of the benefits of Mutual is that it allows you to connect with people who you may have never otherwise met – across the state, across the country, and in some cases even across the globe! Because of the distance, you might not be able to meet up in person. Consider a video chat date instead so you can still get to know each other face to face. (Read Shelley Bushman’s 7 Real-Life Tips For Long Distance Dating here!)

3. Don’t ghost!

Hopefully this goes without saying, but if you match with or begin a conversation with someone, don’t ghost them! Talk to them, get to know them, and spend time together. 

Remember that you can’t possibly know everything about someone from a few messages or even just a first date. It can be scary starting something new when you don’t know how things will turn out, but the only way to find out is to give it a shot.

On the other hand, you might go on a date, or maybe even two, and end up realizing that this just isn’t the person you see yourself with long-term. That is okay! You’re not going to hit it off with every single person you match with or go out with. But please, be kind. Remember that everyone is just doing their best to figure it out. Don’t leave someone hanging and wondering if they’re going to hear back from you or not. If you’re not interested in seeing them again, kindly let them know.

We’re so excited that you found a match! We hope that everything goes well and that this match is a stepping stone to your forever. But, if not, we know there are LOTS of other people out there you’ll match with. Stay positive and keep trying!

Check out the stories of couples who met on Mutual here!

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