Mutual Blog

For this month’s Ms. Mutual question, we decided to turn to our community and let YOU answer the question. The question was:

“Why can’t I get girls to reply to my Notes? I’m not just saying, “hey.” I’m asking questions about their bios and stuff like that. Is there just something wrong with me?”

We received so many answers! We’re so grateful for a community that’s so willing to help each other out. 🫶 Most of the answers fell into a few of the same categories. Here are five things we learned from the advice that you shared:

1. Don’t be afraid to throw a little humor in the mix

“Notes can sometimes be an awkward way of talking to someone so it’s usually best to address that with humor. Just mention that it’s goofy to send a note but you just haaaad to comment about that one thing on her bio.”

“I think a lot of it has to do with the culture around online dating, they don’t see you as a person yet so they’re quick to judge and Ghost. But, maybe try to add in some humor or show your personality through your words to make you seem human?”

2. Is it time to update your profile?

“Sharing a note doesn’t increase the odds of girls liking you, it just grabs their attention. You may want to update your profile, be your best self, have good photos, and a simple bio that captures why you’re valuable to the reader.”

“Maybe you need something interesting on your profile as well that makes you stand out?? They might know they’re baddies, but you gotta show you are too!”

“It most likely has nothing to do with you, and more to with the girl. Sometimes notes are a great tool and for other girls it does not have the desired effect. My best im advice is keep swiping and try a variety of people. Another tip is to make sure your profile has clear pictures with your face and plenty of info about yourself.”

3. Maybe they’re just not that into you

“Sometimes a girl will ignore notes if they’re not interested in the guy. It sucks, but they most likely just don’t wanna lead you on. I hope things get better though!”

“Sometimes when we’re not interested we just won’t respond. It’s not that you said anything wrong it’s just that we don’t want you to get your hopes up when we don’t expect anything to start.”

4. Be yourself! The right girl will appreciate it

“Best thing you can do is be unique and be yourself. Ask a question about something you like and are passionate about like LOTR or home made soap or your beanie babies collection.”

“Nah man. They’re probably looking for something specific and we don’t fit that need. No shame. Notes are good to signify interest but a girl does not owe us a response. Just like we don’t swipe up on every possibility, girls have the same option and it saves a lot of wasted time. You are great and you will be great for that girl that’s looking for someone like you. Might be in the app or in real life. Keep your head up!”

5. Trust God’s plan

“Honestly I have the same problem. I think it’s important to understand that if they don’t respond or if they ghost you, it just wasn’t meant to be. you are doing the best you can and there’s not really anything else you can do. if they want to be lame and not respond, let them be lame. Heavenly Father has a specific plan for you and it just doesn’t involve them.”

“That’s hard. The most important thing is remember God has a plan for you. But, Just asking how they are doing will go a long way. It doesn’t need to be complicated. “Hey, (name). How are you doing?” Simple and will ultimately tell you if they are serious about talking. Everyone is different, just give it time and trust the Lord!❤️”

“No. There’s nothing wrong with you. I believe you’ve just got to be patient when it comes to notes and things like that. You’ve just got to let things evolve naturally. Whichever girl God wants for you, to date and marry, that’s the girl who’ll reply to your notes! Hope this helps.”

What other questions do you have for Ms. Mutual?

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