One complaint we hear is that it’s hard to get people to respond to messages. But, if we’re being honest, a lot of the conversation starters we’ve seen aren’t engaging enough to warrant a reply! (Sorry bestie, just being honest.) So let’s look at how to have better conversations by using one of our favorite free features: Comments.
What Are Comments?
Comments allow you to start a conversation in an organic way. You can comment on almost any aspect of someone’s profile – their pictures, their bio, etc.
How Do I Use Comments?
To leave a comment, look for the heart icon on someone’s profile. This can be found in the bottom right corner of the first page of their profile.
Tap on the heart to see the following menu pop up.
Tap “Send a Comment” and a textbox will appear. Type your comment into the text box and hit “Send Like & Comment.”
Doing so is the equivalent of swiping up on them AND sending them a message at the same time. They won’t see your message unless they also swipe up on you, but if you match, your message will automatically be the first thing they see in your conversation together.
You can also look for the heart icon in their profile information. Tap on the heart icon to leave a comment on that specific aspect of their profile.
See something else you want to talk about that doesn’t have a heart next to it? Long tap on that aspect of their profile and the pop up menu will appear. Tap on the “Send a Comment” option and you’ll be able to comment on that specific aspect of their profile.
How To Leave Better Comments
There are a few things to keep in mind when sending comments.
1. Make them conversational. If you just say “hi” or “nice” or some other one-word comment then there’s nothing prompting the other person to engage in conversation with you. Instead, use this format: greeting, validation, follow-up question.
Example: “Hey! That is so cool that you run marathons! What’s your fastest time?”
Example: “Hi Karlie! That is the cutest dog I’ve ever seen. What kind is he?”
Formatting your comments in this way shows that you are interested in what the other person has shared on their profile and that you want to learn more about them. It also gives them an opportunity to reply and start a conversation instead of wondering what they should say.
2. People like extremes. Exaggerate your compliments. We’re not saying to lie, but people like to feel special. Phrases such as “the cutest” or “most amazing” will catch people’s attention. Just don’t overdo it because it could get creepy.
3. Be original. Don’t say something that Johnny said to his match because you know it worked for him. Be genuine and sincere in your comments and compliments. Say something that is personal to them and will show that they aren’t just another face in your line of swipes.
4. Find common interests. Take time to actually look at their photos and read their bio. What do you have in common? Finding a mutual interest is a great way to start a conversation and spark a relationship. If you already have something in common when you match, it makes you instantly more relatable to that person and more likely to receive a response.
Give It A Try
Comments tend to be a little bit more work because there’s no guarantee that the other person will see your message. (If you want to send a message that they’re guaranteed to see, try sending a Note! Learn more about Notes here.) But starting off your conversation the right way can really pay off in the end.
There’s no perfect answer that will get you a response 100% of the time. You just aren’t going to be some people’s cup of herbal tea and that’s okay! But the more relatable you are and the more you act like a real person interacting with another real person instead of just swiping through pictures on the app, the more successful you will be.
Kaleigh Adamson
Kaleigh is a Marketing Coordinator for Mutual. She has worked with couples, relationships, dating, and love in a creative role for over a decade. She's a hopeless romantic who loves that her career allows her to help people find their soulmates. She downloaded Mutual when it first launched in 2016, coincidentally the same year she met her husband! They now live happily ever after in the Midwest with their two kids and dog.
Your suggestions on crafting meaningful comments could make a significant difference in starting a conversation. I totally agree that it’s more about being relatable and treating the other person as a real individual, not just a profile. Personally, I think it’s really important to emphasize point number 4. Finding a common ground can indeed pave the way for a more engaging interaction. I must admit, I was a bit hesitant about the idea of sending comments, but the way you laid out the benefits, tips, and examples makes me want to give it a try. Also, your casual and realistic approach towards potential lack of responses is both encouraging and refreshing.