Expert Panel – Why Does It Seem Like Everyone Has Emotional Baggage?

May 25, 2023

Julie Balkman
Certified Life Coach & Dating Coach
IG @lifecoach.julie

Why does it seem like everyone has emotional baggage in today’s dating world? Because everybody does. Everyone on this planet has emotional baggage. What I would invite you to do is look for those who are taking responsibility for their emotional baggage.

Someone who takes responsibility for their emotional baggage is someone who tells the truth about themselves. Someone who takes responsibility for getting help if they need it when it comes to their emotional baggage and someone who is not expecting you to take care of them, to validate, respect, honor, bow down to their emotional baggage.

Some people might feel pressure of expectations when another person claims that they have emotional baggage and they’re expecting the person they’re with or the person they’re dating to take care of them in that regard. That’s just not their responsibility. And it is scary because how would they know how to take care of you?

Many people will say, “Well, you didn’t validate me,” or “You did not respect me,” or “You did not display kindness when it came to my emotional baggage or a mental health issue.” A lot of that is just a demand that someone be there for you in a way that they absolutely don’t know how

Liv Talley
LDS Dating Coach & Expert
Podcaster of “With Love, From Liv”
IG @livtalley_coach

Absolutely EVERYONE has “baggage” because we’re all humans experiencing a fallen world. Including you. Try swapping the word baggage for “experience” and see if that shifts the way you feel about other people’s stories.

Geoff Steurer
MS, LMFT, and Author
Podcaster of “From Crisis to Connection”
IG @geoffsteurer

Why does it seem like everybody has emotional baggage in today’s dating world? Well, we all have emotional baggage. None of us can get through life without some sort of baggage in our suitcases. 

However, if you find yourself around people who only want to talk about their emotional baggage and that doesn’t really work for you, you’re not the kind of person that just wants to sort through all that stuff, then that’s probably not the person for you.

Some people love to talk about their feelings and emotions and their histories and stuff like that, but it doesn’t sound like that’s your thing, and that’s totally cool. So, maybe find somebody who’s more interested in talking about other things.

Mutual Expert Panel
Mutual | + posts

The Mutual Expert Panel is made up of counselors, therapists, dating coaches, and others with a professional understanding of dating, love, and relationships.

Liv Talley
LDS Dating Coach & Expert at The Sealed Deal | + posts

Liv Talley is an LDS dating and relationship coach, lifestyle mentor, and published author of the book: Sorry, You’re Not Perfect. She has helped singles find love, get married in the temple, and build exceptionally blessed lives through in-depth mindset coaching and personal acceptance/self-compassion.

Julie Balkman
Certified Life Coach & Dating Coach | + posts

Julie Balkman is a Certified Life Coach, trained and mentored by 3 coaching programs, 8 years coaching experience, former co-host of a three-year international young adult support group, owner/operator of the 100 Interviews project, teacher of Personal Wholeness & Real Relationships class in Seattle YSA Ward.

Geoff Steurer
MS, LMFT, and Author | + posts

Geoff Steurer is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in St. George, UT. He is the host of the podcast “From Crisis to Connection” and helps couples reconnect after broken trust. He also specializes in helping couples build strong and intimate relationships in any stage of their relationship. He has been married for over 26 years to his wife, Jody, and they are the parents of four children.


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