Around this time of year, it can seem like everyone’s relationship status suddenly becomes extremely visible. For those in a new or stable relationship, this can be thrilling and fun! For others, it can be quite the opposite.
Especially in a religion and culture that puts so much emphasis on marriage and families, it’s easy to compare yourself to others. We find ourselves longing after things like going on a date, finding a significant other, getting engaged, being sealed in the temple, having kids, etc. It doesn’t take long for feelings of doubt, loneliness, and worthlessness to creep in. Trust us, we get it.
It’s important to know/remember that your worth as a human being, as a member of the church, and as a child of God does NOT equal or stem from your marital status.
YOU CAME TO EARTH WITH YOUR WORTH
A silver coin does not gain or lose value with the number of transactions it has seen. Whether it is shiny & new or weathered & old, its value remains the same. The same goes for you – no matter which coin you may feel that you identify with. You do not gain or lose any value with any experiences you may or may not have had. No matter your circumstances, your value remains the same!
From the time you were born, you already had all of your worth. It does not have to be earned and you do not have to qualify for it. You are a child of God and are worthy of love and happiness just by being you!
“Because we are the spirit children of God, everyone has a divine origin, nature, and potential. Each of us is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents. This is our identity! This is who we really are!
Our spiritual identity is enhanced as we understand our many mortal identities, including ethnic, cultural, or national heritage. This sense of spiritual and cultural identity, love, and belonging can inspire hope and love for Jesus Christ. … Such hope is essential to overcoming adversity, fostering spiritual resilience and strength, and coming to know that we are loved by our Eternal Father and that we are His children, who belong to His family.”
President M. Russell Ballard, Hope In Christ, 2021
PATIENCE AND PEACE IN THE JOURNEY
Even when you have a clear sense of your worth, it doesn’t make your trials any less hard. So how do we remain happy and faithful?
- REMEMBER THE PLAN OF HAPPINESS WAS INTENDED FOR YOU
“No one is predestined to receive less than all that the Father has for His children.”
Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Why Marriage, Why Family, 2015
The Plan of Salvation was created for everyone. You are not exempt from eternal happiness just because you have not found your eternal companion yet.
The scriptures teach us that if we “search diligently, pray always, and be believing, … all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another.” (Doctrine & Covenants 90:24) Remember that if you are diligent, your blessings WILL come in God’s timing.
- FIND WAYS TO SERVE WHERE YOU ARE
The Lord taught that “whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.” (Matthew 16:25) When we forget ourselves and serve others, our problems seem to get a little bit smaller.
If you think you have nothing to offer in serving those around you, you are wrong!
“Never forget that you are a child of God, our Eternal Father, now and forever. He loves you, and the Church wants and needs you. Yes, we need you! We need your voices, talents, skills, goodness, and righteousness.”
President M. Russell Ballard, Hope In Christ, 2021
- STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
There is no one right way to do life and no two persons’ paths will look the same. This is YOUR life and YOUR story and it’s happening exactly the way that it’s supposed to.
“Please, my beloved brothers and sisters, we must stop comparing ourselves to others. We torture ourselves needlessly by competing and comparing. We falsely judge our self-worth by the things we do or don’t have and by the opinions of others. If we must compare, let us compare how we were in the past to how we are today—and even to how we want to be in the future. The only opinion of us that matters is what our Heavenly Father thinks of us.”
Elder J Devn Cornish, Am I Good Enough? Will I Make It?, 2016
YOUR WORTH IS NOT YOUR MARITAL STATUS
It can be really hard to remember your self-worth. In a world that is constantly telling us that we’re not enough, it’s easy to think that you will never truly amount to anything until you are married, but that is absolutely not the case!
You are already a wonderful, valued, and needed addition to the family of God. You are here, exactly where you are in the exact circumstances that you are in, for a reason. God has a plan for you. Even if that plan looks different than you may have always envisioned for yourself, you can still find peace, happiness, and joy now – those blessings are not reserved exclusively for married couples.
So find happiness where you are, trust the path that God has you on, and believe in yourself! You are absolutely worth it.
Kaleigh Adamson
Kaleigh is a Marketing Coordinator for Mutual. She has worked with couples, relationships, dating, and love in a creative role for over a decade. She's a hopeless romantic who loves that her career allows her to help people find their soulmates. She downloaded Mutual when it first launched in 2016, coincidentally the same year she met her husband! They now live happily ever after in the Midwest with their two kids and dog.
I am lonely. I am sad that I was not a better partner/husband. I am remorseful that I didn’t know Jesus Christ then as I do now. I find it hard to be joyful and happy. I see examples of Christ’s love and blessings in others lives but, not to myself. I feel like something is wrong with me.
I am so sorry you’re having a hard time! I hope this post has helped you. Please continue to rely on our Savior who can help you <3