By Whitney Gifford
When it comes to getting the ball rolling with your latest Mutual match, half the battle is knowing how to start the conversation. After all, it’s not always easy to cold-turkey dive into a chat with someone you’ve never met.
It’s okay to be nervous—it happens to the best of us! But don’t let that be the thing that keeps you from potentially finding your one and only. Yours could be the next success alongside many happy couples who used Mutual to swipe up into eternal bliss.
All you might need are tips for how to start the conversation, get to know your match, and show them the real you. Because the truth is, if there’s chemistry and the feelings are mutual (cough, pun intended) you’ll easily be able to take it from there!
10 Best Conversation Starters To Use for Your Next Mutual Match
#1 – Ask a question about something in their bio.
The key here is to be interested in the other person rather than trying to make yourself appear interesting. Your time to shine will come, but instead focus your energy on getting to know more about the other person first. (Added bonus: not focusing on yourself can actually help make you feel less nervous!)
Try asking what their favorite food was during their mission in Argentina, if being good with numbers is what made them choose accounting as a degree, or what 3 countries are on their bucket list since they mentioned they loved to travel.
You might be pleasantly surprised by how easy it to open up and really start getting to know each other when you shift your focus to your match!
#2 – Give a sincere compliment.
Make it less of a, “Hey, you must work out,” (yikes)—and more of a, “I love your smile!”
The person on the other side of the screen should be respected, but will appreciate your genuine words in regards to an (appropriate) physical characteristic of theirs that intrigues you.
Keep in mind this doesn’t have to be a physical compliment, but could be related to things like their sense of humor or their accomplishments you noticed in their bio, too.
#3 – Turn the conversation into a game.
There are interesting ways to get to know a person without going through the list of standard questions! Instead, try something like, “Let’s play two truths and a lie! I’ll go first,” or “If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 3 items would you bring and why?”
This can make it fun for your match to come up with a response and feel more engaged (another pun intended) than if you use a simple, “Hey, whats up?”
#4 – Ask them out!
This is definitely a straightforward approach, but it actually works for a lot of Mutual swipers.
Some people do better in person than via text, and that’s okay! Don’t be afraid to ask your match if they’re interested in meeting up to get to know each other better face to face. After all, there’s so much more to communication than just words, so skipping the interwebs and asking the get-to-know-you questions in person could pan out well for you.
#5 – Say something funny. LOL.
Try sending your favorite pun or gif to get them laughing!
This is a quick way to see if you have similar humor and can take the pressure off. You might even try sending the cheesiest pick-up line you can think of. “Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend/girlfriend material,” might not work for everyone, but it could work for you.
Go for it! And if it’s not love at first sight, perhaps you can walk by again? Or maybe they’ll find out that Disneyland isn’t the happiest place on earth—but a spot next to you could be? You get the picture.
#6 – Talk about food. And more food. Nom nom.
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach—but did you know the same can go for ladies, too? Yep, it’s true. In fact, on average, women are 40% more likely to respond to messages about food. (Insert tummy growl here).
Cafe Rio or Costa Vida? Pancakes, cereal, or a green smoothie for breakfast? What are your go-to pizza toppings? Are you passionate about avocados, y/n? Try one of these questions with your match next time! You never know, talking about food might make you both hungry and be the perfect segue into asking for a date.
#7 – Send a message about something fun you could do together.
Look for common interests the two of you might have and use that to strike up a conversation! Did you notice they like to rock climb or play golf? Ask where their favorite spots are to go and suggest going together sometime. Even if you don’t know much about the activities they seem into, ask if they’d be interested in teaching you sometime.
This can help you find common ground, shows your interest in the things they care about, and lets them know you’re willing to try new things—a win-win all around!
#8 – Let’s talk geography.
If there’s one thing you should know about dating with Mutual, it’s that geographical boundaries are no match for our matches!
People from different parts of the world are connecting in ways they may not have had the opportunity to otherwise. Just take a look at our Instagram for highlights of happy couples who swiped up and ended up getting married to someone halfway across the world!
Ask about a landmark in their native country or state that you’ve always wanted to visit—(Eiffel Tower, Empire State Building, or Temple Square, anyone?) Cultural and geographical differences can make your potential matches and future conversations all the more interesting if you see it as an opportunity rather than a barrier.
#9 – Ask for their number.
Try coming up with a clever way to get your match’s phone number to take the conversation outside of the Mutual app!
Here are some of our favs.
“I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”
“I was hoping you could help me. I’m writing a book… a phone book…but it’s missing your number?”
“There seems to be something wrong with my phone. Your number isn’t in it?”
Granted, these could fall into the pick-up-line category, but who knows—you could get a good laugh (and maybe even some magical digits) as a result! Plus, it’s a great way to take your connection a step further.
#10 – If at first there’s no response, try again!
If you don’t get a response to your initial message, don’t be afraid to try one more time. Stay within reason (meaning avoid blowing up your match’s phone) but reach out with a different approach. There are plenty of Mutual couples who had to take another swing before it was the right time to pursue getting to know each other.
Trust us—the awkward feelings that come along with getting to know someone for the first time are completely normal! Just don’t let those feelings stop you from putting yourself out there. The connection you’re looking for could be a few swipes away, and these ice breakers can help you get there.
Did you or someone you know meet their forever match on mutual? We’d love to hear about it! Share your success stories with us at firstname.lastname@example.org, on Instagram, or Facebook!