By Michele Hironaka
You’ve been staring into the glow of your phone for a few minutes, completely blanking on anything really witty or interesting to write about yourself. Do you even have any attractive photos? Right now creating or even re-doing your profile seems like the most awkward and difficult thing about online dating. Will you ever find love?! Or at least, a date?
Of course you will! We’ve compiled a list of 7 tips to help you get the matches you deserve! Whether you’re looking to share a meal or to share someone’s last name, these tips will help you match with the hotties you really want to date and not waste your time with those you don’t. With these tips, you’ll create an original profile that stands out (in a good way) and will have your friends begging you to re-do their profiles!
Tip #1: Stay True to Your Brand
Consider this your crash course in branding.
Much like a brand, your photos are a reflection of who you are and who you are looking to date. When businesses create their brand their number one focus is what kind of consumer they want to buy their product. Whether we like it or not, it’s exactly the same in dating. Think carefully about your brand and what kind of person you’re looking to connect with when you post your photos.
If you’re in search of a hiking partner, show yourself on one of your favorite trails.
If you think Temple Night makes a great date or Institute is an awesome place to snag free dinner, show your favorite temple or get a picture of you getting that Institute cred and some free nachos!
I’m not going to lie to you this will filter some of your matches, but this is no time for F.O.M.O. Think it over; do you really want to start something with someone where there is no future? If you aren’t looking to plan the future right now, do you really want to match with someone you find mind-numbingly dull because you have NOTHING in common? More matches do not equal more dates or true love. So post pictures that align with your brand.
Tip #2: How to Make a Great First Impression
Your photos are your first impression. Make each one on your Mutual profile count!
First off, SMILE. I believe whoever started the trend of the smolder instead of the smile should have their eyebrows shaved, and I absolutely stand by that.
Don’t get me wrong, a well placed smolder is great, but for a first impression it’s a little strong. If each of your photos is a smolder or a serious model-esque glare at the camera I will assume you are an emotionless robot who didn’t tear up during Bambi.
If you want to look like and attract other humans, show expressions humans usually use, like a SMILE! Leave the smolders and longing glances for the engagement photos.
Speaking of looking like a human, no more duck photos or weird tongue-out-to-the-side photos either folks. There is no way to ironically make either of those faces. They give off very strong middle school and 2006 vibes. You’re better than that.
Last, but not least, for your first picture, you must show your face! You’ll get more swipes up if your future dates can see YOU in that first picture, not a hat, not a landscape, and absolutely no sunglasses.
Tip # 3: Selfies and Group Photos
This one may be a hard habit to kick, but if you’re going to show a selfie, no more than ONE if you use any. I mean it – only one!
Here’s the thing, you may feel your best photos are your selfies, but I promise you that just isn’t true. True attractiveness is not determined by specific lighting or poses. Photos someone took of you, even of you posing are much classier. Better yet, post action photos showing you doing something you love! These kinds of images show you have friends, that you have a life, you have hobbies, and you go outside from time to time! All of those are extremely attractive qualities. Be brave and show yourself through someone else’s lens!
Don’t go overboard with group photos though! Your first photo should never be a group photo. In fact, most of your photos shouldn’t be group photos. This isn’t “Where’s Waldo?”
If you include group photos, remember our first tip on branding. Is your friend group a big part of your life? Your future love interest should know. If you are part of a family that runs marathons on holidays, people need a warning.
Also, be cautious of using pictures of you with someone of the opposite sex. Most people who see these will assume either it’s an ex or a sibling. Either way, your potential matches are comparing themselves to that person. Since that doesn’t feel good, I would suggest using only one of these photos or leaving them out altogether.
Tip #4: A Bio is Descriptive, but NOT a Novel
This is a two part dating P.S.A.:
If your bio looks like a wall of words or a long string of emojis, very few people will take the time to read it. Worse still, you may be written off as needy.
If your bio is blank or only a line or two of vague poetic nonsense most of us are thinking the following;
- You are too shy or unoriginal to write something.
- You think your pictures do all the talking (which, I assure you, they do not.)
- You are a James Bond villain trying not to leave a trail.
None of these are someone any of us want to date.
So pull up your big kid pants and write a bio, or cut down your original. Write something that will spark a conversation, but remember; it’s not a monologue.
Tip #5: What you SHOULD Write in Your Bio
Choose things to put in your bio that can easily lead to a conversation.
One excellent option is write your bio in list format. This is an efficient style and easy to read at a glance! It’s the perfect way to offer a lot of information without overwhelming anyone.
What should you make a list of?
- The last 5 books you’ve read (don’t shy away from listing textbooks!)
- Words that do not describe you (Thesaurus.com my friends.)
- Fake (or real) reviews from an ex, your mom, your professors, your youngest nephew, etc.
The old go-to of online dating is using quotes from your favorite books, celebs, or movies. You may puzzle some people, but the right people will get it. Before you use any quotes, check your source. Gandhi did not tell us to “Go big or go home.”
Whatever you write, give insight into your unique personality. Make it that much easier for your matches to make the first move!
Tip #6: Jobs and Education
Two major “must haves” on your bio are your job (or your dream job) and where you went to school.
Including your job or your career goals is the easiest way to show your future matches you have ambition and you’re an independent individual. Can you say “Hot”?
Adding your college or university (if you went) offers another conversation starter. You could match and bond with someone who also supports your shared university colors or you’ll match with a rival and engage in some flirtatious ribbing. Either way it’s a win.
Both are a simple way to show you’re a driven adult with a future, without having to type it out. We call that the “humble brag”.
Tip #7: Linking to Social Media
Here’s the skinny; adding your Instagram handle in your Mutual bio seems like you’re transparent. Adding your Snapchat handle seems a little desperate.
Instagram is the perfect, non-committal way for someone to learn more about you. Unless your profile is private, they don’t have to follow you to look at your Instagram, they don’t even have to like any of your photos. You’re basically giving them more of a look into what is important to you without asking anything from them.
Snapchat is a platform for direct communication, but you haven’t even met these people yet! At best adding your Snapchat handle comes off as a little weird, at worst it is extremely weird. Wait to exchange other social media information until you’ve started an actual conversation.
There you have it! These are 7 tips to create a “Swipe Up” Mutual profile! With these tips you’ll create a Mutual profile that stands out so you can find the match of your dreams.
So get out there with your new and improved profile and start swiping.
Tell us how these tips worked for you, we want to know! Do you agree with our list?
Our team of love experts at Mutual works hard to make sure you have the most helpful dating advice out there. Whether you're still searching for your person or working to move your relationship from the chat bubble to in-person, we've got your back every step of the way.
I don’t see any pictures of older adults. Is this sight mainly for young adults?
We do have a wide variety of ages! You may just have to widen your search range 🙂
No I dont agree. Leave out the superficial judgements and let people be themselves.
Why do matches go away? How do you ever find someone again?
All of this seems so superficial. But, play along with the rules until you make it I guess. It’s like I hate the concept of online dating but on the other hand what can you do if you’re not attracted to anyone you encounter on a regular basis.