Normally, when I think of the story of David, it’s one of two extremes. Either it’s the tragic story of a king who wasn’t where God wanted him to be, falling to temptation… or it’s the young, courageous shepherd taking on the giant.
So when my family watched Angel Studios’ beautiful rendition of David in theaters over the holidays, I was surprised that what stood out to me most was neither of those storylines (they wisely didn’t try to include Bathsheba bathing in a kids’ movie). What stood out to me was David in hiding.
Despite having been anointed by God to become king, David found himself fleeing for his life—wondering why the Lord’s promises were not being fulfilled. I love that in the darkest moments of his life—hunted, betrayed, in a cave—David turned to the Lord:
“Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,
for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,
till the storms of destruction pass by.”
—Psalm 57, A Miktam of David, when he fled from Saul into the cave
I’ve been intimately involved in the Mutual project for over a decade now. Over the years, working with and serving this community, I’ve seen absolute miracles. I’ve met hundreds of “Davids”—incredible single adults, many of whom are patiently waiting on the Lord. I’ve followed the stories of so many wonderful brothers and sisters as they find love.
And I’ve also made many, many friends who find themselves still waiting, some of them for a very long time. I imagine they empathize deeply with David, living in what often feels like a cave of their own.
I don’t pretend to understand the timing of the Lord, but I trust Him. My seminary teacher Natalie Carroll did a great job drilling scripture mastery into us, and to this day Proverbs 3:5-6 is still written on my heart:
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
—Proverbs 3:5–6
At the Utah YSA Conference last year, I sat next to dating coach Sam Whitney. I was giving profile reviews to YSAs—pointing out little changes that might help them succeed in what can be a challenging online dating world. I couldn’t help overhearing some of Sam’s advice (hoping a little of his wisdom might rub off on me), and I heard him ask a young man:
“If you knew you would meet your dream wife—but you’d have to wait five, even ten years to meet her—would you wait?”
The young man didn’t hesitate. “Yes!”
That exchange stuck with me. I have seen the inherent goodness of the people in our community. Every time I interact with the single adults of the Church, I am humbled by your goodness, your nobility, and your greatness. I believe with all my heart that the Lord has a beautiful story written for each of us. He asks us to trust Him, even in the darkest moments.
Like David, we need to be where He wants us to be. The very fact that you chose Mutual as a place to look for your partner speaks volumes about you—about your faith and your priorities. Of all the things you could be searching for, you chose to look for someone who shares your faith. Whether you meet your future spouse on this app or off it, I know that act of faith will matter.
This year, I’d like to challenge the singles in our community to do more than just wait. Like David, I believe the world can be better because of where God put you this year. What beautiful music might come from you this year because you spent at least a season of it single?
In President Oaks’ conference address last October, this passage struck me:
“In times past, one of the great influences that unified families was the experience of struggling together in pursuit of a common goal—such as taming the wilderness or earning a living. The family was an organized and conducted unit of economic production. Today, most families are units of economic consumption, which do not require a high degree of family organization and cooperation.”
That contrast—production vs. consumption—stuck with me.
We live in a consumer world. Our internet-centered lives offer endless content to consume. Streaming services provide a never-ending river of entertainment. Even audiobooks are now “unlimited.” We even have a video on our own social media handle that has over 15.5 years of combined watch time.
I don’t believe God designed us merely to consume. He is the ultimate Creator. In Come, Follow Me this month, we literally begin with the Creation. As His children, we are meant to create. We are meant to produce.
So here’s my challenge to you wonderful singles:
Be more than just a consumer in your single season.
There is no amount of love you can consume that will bring true happiness. You have to produce love—to freely give it—to be happy.
Do more than just consume people’s profiles. What can you give to the singles community? Are you brightening the lives of those around you? The ways are endless: Encourage one another with compliments. Go on dates with awesome people. Share meals together.
Not every person you meet is destined to be your eternal companion.
But we all have to eat. You might as well do it often in good company.
I love the story of my mentor Bob Carroll, one of Mutual’s co-founders. His love story is incredibly unique—and I won’t even try to retell it for fear of not doing it justice—but Bob’s relationship with the amazing Natalie, a single mom of two little girls at the time, in part, began with something very simple: dinner between friends.
Bob and Natalie went on to become the ultimate power couple. They are producers of light and goodness everywhere they go. I was just one of many teenagers who benefited from their kindness and dedication. They went far beyond the call, coaxing drowsy students into early morning seminary with boxes of Einstein Bagels. The bagels didn’t keep us full for long, but the lessons did. Those truths sank into our hearts and have fed our souls for a lifetime. I’ve now watched them for more than two decades serve with quiet devotion in every opportunity the Lord has placed before them.
I hope I didn’t ruin the movie David for anyone. I’m a fanatic about avoiding spoilers—but given that it’s one of the most famous stories in the Bible, I figured I was safe.
David had a real season as a hunted outcast.
But it was exactly that—a season.
He endured it well and went on to become Israel’s greatest king. (Until Jesus of course)
My prayer is that you may prosper in your single season—and that when the threads in the tapestry of your story finally come together and reveal their full picture, you’ll be able to sing with David:
“Thou hast turned my mourning into dancing;,
Thou hast removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing praise to thee, and not be silent.
Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.”
-Psalm 30, A Psalm and Song at the dedication of the house of David.
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