All forms of dating come with some kind of risk. You risk being rejected, getting your heart broken, missing out on opportunities, etc. However, while all forms of dating require you to put your heart on the line, one thing you should never intentionally put on the line is your personal safety or well-being.
Online dating comes with a unique set of risks. It’s important to be aware of these risks and follow safety precautions when sharing information about yourself or when meeting someone in person.
You may hear stories of dates gone wrong and think it sounds like something that could never happen to you. Please know that these risks are very real. We don’t tell you this to scare you into never going on a date again! We want to keep you safe. Period. And in order to do that, we have to make you aware of real possibilities.
The scriptures teach us that “if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear” and that “God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” If you find yourself in one of these situations, we want to make sure that you’ll be prepared with the knowledge necessary to protect yourself.
Protecting Yourself From Financial Crimes
Keep in mind that it is very easy for someone to provide false information about themselves on a dating profile. Of course, there are genuine people out there waiting for you to swipe up on them! But it’s important to remember that these people are still strangers, and you can’t know or assume their intentions at face value. You should treat them like any other stranger you would meet any other way – only placing your trust in them once you’ve met them in person and gotten to know them.
Avoid sharing personal information on your dating profile (or really anywhere on the internet for that matter) and during initial communications with someone you meet online, whether it’s a message within Mutual or an in-person conversation. Personal information can include your last name, email address, home address, phone number (yep, even your phone number), place of work, social security number, details of your daily routine, or other identifying information.
Sharing bits of personal information may seem harmless, but keeping these things private can make a big difference in helping to protect you from both sexual assault and financial crimes.
People can use these tiny bits of information about you to answer security questions on various financial or credit accounts. Those with malintent may use a shared location or daily itinerary to stalk you or try to get you alone.
Keeping this information private keeps you in control of the situation.
If someone you meet online pressures you for financial information or personal information, or tries to trick you into revealing this information, stop communicating with them and report them. Don’t send money to someone that you meet online, especially by wire transfer, even if they claim to be experiencing an emergency.
Protecting Yourself From Sexual Assault and Dating Violence
We hope that you never find yourself in a situation where someone tries to make you do something you don’t want to do. To avoid getting into a position where you have to defend those boundaries, here are some essential things to remember when meeting up with someone for the first time.
When meeting up with someone in person, even if you are sure they are perfect in every way, please remember that you are still meeting up with a stranger. You would never get into a car with someone you don’t know. You shouldn’t get into a car with someone you’ve only met online or in an app! Provide your own transportation to and from an in-person date, whether that means driving yourself, using public transportation, or choosing to meet somewhere close enough to walk to.
When deciding where to meet up for your date, insist that you meet somewhere public with many people around. Do not meet them at their home, invite them over to your home, or go somewhere remote where you will be alone, no matter how cool or romantic it sounds. If there is genuine interest, there will be time for romance later on.
When meeting up with your Mutual date in person, tell a friend or family member where you will be and when you plan to be back. This way, they’ll know when to be concerned and where to find you if needed. Consider using a location-sharing app on your phone so your friend or family member can track your location and easily see where you are if needed.
Safety When Reporting
If you come across someone whose behavior is suspicious, offensive, harassing, threatening, fraudulent, or involves a request for money or an attempt to sell a product or service, you should block that person and report them.
(See our Community Guidelines to learn what is and isn’t allowed when interacting with someone on Mutual – both in-app and in person.)
If you’re worried about reporting someone and aren’t sure if you should, remember that reporting criminal activity from someone else on the app may help prevent a perpetrator of a rape, assault, or financial crime from hurting or continuing to hurt others and may be necessary for Mutual to take responsive action against the person who perpetrated the crime.
Even if you feel like what someone did “wasn’t that big of a deal,” it actually IS a big deal. Going against our Community Standards in any form is a big deal. Engaging in sexual conduct of any kind without the other person’s consent is a criminal act and subject to prosecution. Our team is constantly working to keep Mutual safe.
We often see patterns emerge from people with bad intentions. By reporting people who make you feel uncomfortable or are acting suspiciously, our team has more information to act on.
When in doubt, report it. You will never be penalized or chastised for truthfully reporting an incident, no matter how big or small, and all reports are kept completely anonymous.
To report someone for sexual or intimate partner violence, a financial crime, or other misconduct that goes against our Community Standards, tap on their profile, scroll all the way to the bottom, and tap on “Report Profile.” Your report will then be sent to our support team to address the situation. If, for some reason, you are unable to report in-app, email support@mutual.app and explain your situation, giving as many details as possible about the incident and their profile so that we can find them. Even if you report via email, we will never share your name with the person you report.
If you are the victim or survivor of sexual or intimate partner violence or a financial crime through someone you met on Mutual, you should report the incident to Mutual and law enforcement.
* If, for any reason, you are not comfortable reporting to law enforcement, there are other resources for you. See a list of resources here.
You Are Not Alone
If you are the victim or survivor of sexual or intimate partner violence or a financial crime through someone you met on Mutual, it is not your fault. Nobody is “asking for it,” and nobody deserves to be mistreated or taken advantage of.
There are many places where you can seek support from hotlines, professionals, and others who have gone through similar experiences. Please reach out. You do not have to face this alone.
UCASA 24-Hour Sexual Violence Crisis Line:
1-801-746-0404 | https://www.ucasa.org/
RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | online.rainn.org | www.rainn.org
National Human Trafficking Hotline
1-888-373-7888 or text 233733 | www.humantraffickinghotline.org
National Sexual Violence Resource Center1-877-739-3895 | www.nsvrc.org
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